


Help

by Chaotic_Adventure



Series: Call and Aaron [1]
Category: Magisterium Series - Holly Black & Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Everybody is alive AU, I might as well, I might go over it again later but here you go in the meanwhile, I’d never kill Call, M/M, Mention of blood, Nightmare, Suicide, and Tamara being suspicious, because this fandom consists of, but it’s just a dream, my fluffy boys helping each other, not beta’d, seriously never, twelve people and a shoelace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaotic_Adventure/pseuds/Chaotic_Adventure
Summary: “Call, you’re okay.”“Of course I am.” Call looked at the other boy in concern. “Aaron, what happened?”Aaron’s throat closed as he remembered the nightmare.





	1. Aaron

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my adventurers! I hope to (eventually) live up to my username and write something that will take you on the most chaotic roller coaster you’ve ever ridden. I doubt this is it, because I’m not all that good at writing and this is also my first real fanfic. Have fun and be sure to leave a comment if you liked it!

Aaron shot awake, gasping, his clothes plastered to him by a layer of sweat. He looked around frantically for some invisible threat. An elemental? It was unlikely, but the small possibility made Aaron step out into the dimly lit common room, shivering with fear.

He curled up in a chair, mind fuzzy, reminding himself he was safe. Call and Tamara were there, just in their separate rooms. He looked at their nameplates as reassurance and suddenly remembered the dream.

 

 _“I suppose he can die, too, right? You wouldn’t mind. He_ is _the Enemy of Death, after all.”_

_“No!” Aaron cried out, reaching for Call and not being able to stretch far enough. “Call!”_

_The faceless man chuckled. “You’re destined to kill him. You might as well let him do the job himself. It saves you some time, doesn’t it?”_

_Call was summoning chaos, way too much to not be using a counterweight. Way too much for Aaron_ not _to feel the familiar tug on his soul. “Aaron,” Call murmured, “just let me. My mother’s dying wish was for me to die. I might as well fulfil it.”_

_“No! Call, don’t!”_

_“Goodbye, Aaron. It was fun while it lasted.” And Call screamed as the chaos overtook him, came inside him,_ became _him, and when Aaron searched for his soul, he found nothing._

 

Aaron felt a tear leak out of his eye and did nothing to stop it. “Call,” he involuntarily whispered, tears flowing freely now. “Call, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He felt an overwhelming need to check that Call was okay. Logically, he knew that he was, but his mind wouldn’t accept that, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he saw evidence. He was about to stand when Call opened his door, a sleepy look on his face.

“Aaron?” he asked. “You okay? I heard someone talking.”

“Call,” Aaron said, feeling immense relief. “Call, you’re okay.”

“Of course I am. What happened?” A little more awake, Call took in Aaron’s state and winced. “Nightmare?”

Aaron nodded, almost feeling like a child, vulnerable and scared. “You killed yourself,” he whispered. “You became a chaos elemental. I couldn’t stop you.”

“Oh, _no_ , Aaron.” Call wrapped him in a hug before he could move, holding him tightly. “I wouldn’t. I’ve thought about it before, you know that, but I’d never do it. You and Tamara mean way too much for me to do that. Aaron, I’m sorry.”

Aaron hugged him back, feeling the person there, forcing himself to remember that he was okay. “It was so real,” he murmured. “I… I never want to feel something that horrible again.”

“And you won’t, because now you know I would never do that. Even if it got bad. Because I have you, now, you and Tamara, and it’s getting better. Aaron, do you believe me? It’s getting better and I won’t.”

Aaron finally released the shorter boy and looked at him, memorizing him, the way his grey eyes flickered when he worried. He looked passed the scars lining his wrists, then snapped back to them. “I believe you, Call, I do. You talk to us when it gets bad, and we help you. As long as you keep doing that, it’ll be okay.” But he still sounded uncertain, and he didn’t want to go back to his room, the darkness swallowing him up.

“You want to stay with me?”

Aaron smiled weakly. “If you don’t mind, that would help, I think.”

Call grinned and grabbed his hand, running his thumb over his palm. “It can’t hurt, in any case. C’mon, Havoc will get mad if he wakes up without me.”

Call lead him into his room and closed the door behind him. They crawled into bed, hands clasped together. _Call is safe,_ he reminded himself. _Call is here. Nobody can hurt him, least of all himself._

He slept well for the first time in weeks.

 


	2. Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation. This time, Call is the one that needs help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Hopefully you all liked the first chapter, and that’s why you’re reading the second. I have a headcanon that Call is like this when he’s vulnerable, and I like writing him that way. Have fun!

“Aaron, wake up.”

Aaron awoke, bleary-eyed, trying to take in the situation.

“Aaron?”

“Call? What’s wrong?”

Call stood next to his bed, wringing his hands together. “I—”

“Call, what happened?”

Call began to cry silently, but he didn’t move or speak.

“Hey. Call, c’mere.” Aaron moved over, making a space for the other boy on the bed. When Call still didn’t move, Aaron grabbed his hand and gently pulled him into a sitting position.

Call sat, still crying, gripping his wrist tightly. “I—” He couldn’t seem to get the words out, and he cried harder, his entire body shaking.

Aaron pulled him so that they were both laying down, facing each other. “Call, you’re okay, but I can’t help you until you tell me what happened.”

Call took a shuddering breath. “I— I tried to— I almost—” He looked at Aaron helplessly, attempting to close what little space remained between them. “I cut myself again, Aaron, I’m sorry.”

“Oh,  _ Call _ . It’s okay.” Aaron wrapped his arms around him, calming him slightly. “How many?”

“One,” Call whispered.

“Can I see?”

Call let go of his wrist and brought it into the dim light coming from the common room, door still open. A single cut laid there, and it wasn’t long, although it was deep. It seemed shorter than the rest of the scars that lined the arm, though that may have been wishful thinking.

“Call, that’s good. That’s really good.” Aaron held Call closer, calming the other boy’s shudders. “You only made one, and then you came to me. That’s great, Call, that’s way better than last time.” The last time it had happened, Call had cut many times before coming to Aaron and Tamara, about to pass out.

“But I woke you up,” Call protested weakly.

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is you getting better, and if waking me up helps with that, I’ll take it any day.”

“I just feel so bad about it,” Call murmured. “I needed the pain, but then it felt horrible, like I was breaking some sort of rule that I actually cared about.”

“That’s actually a good thing. That means that you know, at some level, that it’s not good for you.” Aaron gently stroked Call’s back in small circles. “You’re healing, Call, and it’s not a linear process, but it’s _happening._ This is better, you’re doing way better.”

Call hummed and pressed himself against Aaron. “Can I…?”

“Stay here? Absolutely.”

They fell asleep like that, the door still open.

***

“Guys? Care to explain?”

Call awoke slowly, but Aaron jolted awake, looking at Tamara accusingly.

“Hey, you can’t—”

“Your door was open. Explain, please.”

Aaron looked to Call, who nodded. “Could you tell her?”

“Yeah, okay.” Aaron looked back at Tamara and said, “Call cut again, but only once, and then he came to me.”

“Oh, Call, that’s really good!” Tamara ruffled his hair, a big smile on her face. “Sorry, I thought something inappropriate. Your pose was suggestive.”

Aaron flushed, while Call just looked at her. “God, Tamara…” He turned away from her, curling up against Aaron again. “Get your head out of the gutter. Last time you found us like this, Aaron had had a nightmare. It’s not like we do this for fun.” He sighed contentedly and burrowed into the blankets, a soft smile on his face. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like it, though.”

Aaron sputtered in protest and Tamara laughed.

Aaron remembered Call’s words from the night before. _I’m getting better, it’s getting better and I wouldn’t._

He added his own words: _It’s okay. It’s going to be okay._

And it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am aware this fandom consists of twelve people and a shoelace. I am still going to write about these two as though my life depends on it.


End file.
